Monday, July 19, 2010

Application Trepidation

Neither the job where I smell people all day nor the one where I run my ass off all day represents my desired career path, so I am doomed to continue doing that which I despise: applying for jobs. There’s nothing like fretting over the use of each word in a resume or cover letter to make you feel so insignificant and bent to the will of a potential employer. Running over the same list of the same information over and over again on countless applications has served as a fine alternative to ipecac.

What is it about applying for jobs that is so depressing? Is it the constant, pressing fear of rejection? Is it having to bottle yourself into a single-page resume, knowing in all likelihood it will be tossed without ceremony into the same receptacle as snot-filled tissues and empty bags of Cheetos? Is it the feeling of inadequacy? Yes. It’s all of them and probably more.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No, not the light that you head toward when you die, but, you know, hope. It’s an awful, dehumanizing process, but I know it’s going to get me closer to where I want to be in life. Then I can ditch the smelly customers and move on to a job where I’ll only have to deal with smelly co-workers.


Sandman Moon said...

You know, all of the reasons you've listed are PRECISELY why I haven't filled out a single job application or written a single resume since graduating college! Yay, me! It just feels so fake and impersonal. I'd rather just get hired by meeting someone who decides they like me and want to hire me, but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. (Though actually, that's how I got all but one of my jobs in my life. The Seattle bookstore job was the only one I ever applied for. Well, I guess I applied to Wal-Mart too, but that only lasted two weeks and was so awful that I've tried to erase it from my mind.) But I suppose at some point I'll have to suck it up and update my resume. (Which seriously has not been updated since 2002.)

Minima Sapala said...

God, I agree. Looking for a job is like getting ready to go to some social activity with someone you hate. The thought of THEIR repulsive face and disgusting voice somehow oddly makes YOUR skin feel greasy and YOUR hair feel dirty. It just makes you want to crawl into a hole. It's at moments like these that I think maybe I should just suck dick on the street and get it over with. At least I'd probably meet more interesting people than on the corporate side of life.