Sunday, October 24, 2010

Leaf Blow Me

Autumn is a time of decay and hibernation. Squirrels gather the last of their nuts for the coming winter, trees shed their leaves so that they may better weather approaching storms, and the warm, playful spirit of summer retreats into its annual exile. It seems that the volume of the entire hemisphere is lowered a little every day leading up to the winter solstice.

That is until some jackass with a leaf blower comes by at five in the damned morning and jerks you out of the restful cocoon into which you’ve nestled yourself for the night, unaware that leaf blowing is in fact an utter waste of time. Leaf blowers are the bane of my existence, and if I never had to see or hear a single one ever again, I could die happy. Leaf blowing is perhaps the least productive activity performed today, ranking firmly ahead of doing absolutely nothing. At least when you’re doing nothing, you’re not making a detrimental contribution to the environment by burning up gasoline and generating a ton of noise. Leaf blowers contribute to degradation of auditory senses and air quality just to push leaves around—not to dispose of them or turn them into something useful like mulch, but just to move them around.

It is with this session of bitching that I entreat you leaf-blowing people of the world to put down your instruments of annoyance and pick up a damned rake. Thank you.


Shark said...

I think raking could be a fun community activity, just like jumping in leaf piles. I imagine smushing leaves down like that would help them degrade into mulch more quickly, eh? Ehh?

Mel Cole said...

When I read your post, I thought it would nice to have it as an Oration piece. Very loving nature. I like that. I'm your new follower here.

Come Check me out with my Tuesday Tag-Along here

Sandman Moon said...

AMEN! I absolutely DESPISE leaf blowers! They are one of the few things on this earth that nearly push me to perform sudden acts of merciless violence! Ha ha!

Kerry McCullough said...

For reals??? At 5 am? I would run after him with a chainsaw! The best part about leaf blowers is that after all that, the wind will just blow it all right back in your yard ;)

I'm your newest follower from Tuesday Blog Hops. Looking forward to reading more. Mine is Hope you'll stop by :)

Minima Sapala said...

I'm with Shark, let's jump in some leaf piles. Reminds me of how Snoopy always used to jump into Lucy's pile and destroy all her neat work.

I miss falling leaves...San Francisco feels season-less at times.

Sandman Moon said...

I miss your writing!

Jacqui said...

Hi! I am your newest follower from a Tuesday BlogHop. I would love it if you would follow back at one or all four of my blogs :)

Thank you and Happy Holidays!