Monday, September 27, 2010

Friendship Struggle

Three weeks ago, a sweet couple I met had me over to their apartment for dinner. I had a great time, and made tentative plans with them to come over to my apartment for dinner the following week. Seeing as I’m a space cadet, I have yet to follow up on the invitation and actually have them over. Or even hang out with either of them since then. Or even speak one word to them since then. Whoops.

I am awful at maintaining friendships, if you couldn’t tell. It seems I either try to hang out with people so much that I smother them, or I make them feel like I never want to see their ugly mugs ever again. I feel that I have the best intentions when it comes to keeping up with friends, but when it comes to making an effort to spend time with them, I am unable to keep myself from cranking the volume knob to either a shade above mute or a tremor-inducing, deafening roar. Why is it so hard to remain on an even keel with people? How can anyone be expected to consistently maintain a balance between when you want to see them and when they want to see you?


Heather said...

I don't even know how to answer this one. It's humorous but I get what you mean.. Though maybe you don't think it's humorous... Sorry if so. =\

I'd say that if you're aware enough to post this blog then you may as well just DO IT. Give them a call. Send a text even? Just a simple "Hey what's up?" is all it takes sometimes.

Lana said...

People are very busy, so sometimes a lot of time goes by before you realize it. Make a connection; it will be fun!

Songberries said...

I'm a new follower! Will you follow me?

Sue said...

I am a new follower would love a follow back'

Lara said...

Hi! I'm your newest follower from Tuesday Tag Along! I hope you'll stop by and say hello!

The White Whimsies said...

Stopping by from Tuesday's Blog Hop. I am your newest follower.

Reluctant Writer said...


Everyone is usually busy with family. So its usually a once in while get together. I wouldn't worry about the situation becoming pushy.

Im your newest follower from. I can't wait for a follow back. Have a great day.

Shark said...

I think that effort has to be made on both sides. I've noticed that I don't keep circles of friends for longer than five years. This isn't because of a big blowup necessarily, but because people grow and change. Someone once told me that your friends are people you do stuff with; not always people who you share beliefs and morals with. Best way to keep in contact with people is to set up a regular activity that you can all do together.

Sofia said...

I'm your newest follower! ;) found you via TTA.
Come visit and follow back!

From PDX with Love

Anonymous said...

Communicate & connect. A short call, text, I'm, email, a shoutout on twitter. You're a bright guy: I think you know the mechanical means of reaching out.

I may be wrong, but I get the sense that you fear getting it right, so you avoid. And, I get a sense of depressed mood in the background. In my experience, it takes more effort to connect when I'm feeling blue or down.

Keep @ it--life is better with friends, despite the effort it takes.
The Moxie Bee

Minima Sapala said...

The older I get, the better I feel about cutting down my friend list. I hate using the phone and I don't feel comfortable having outside people in my house. I also hate parties, and group activities such as bowling, barbecues, and movie nights.

I abhor small talk. People are very draining to me and I get tired quickly from participating in their conversations.

That said, I'm known as a very charismatic person with about a thousand acquaintances. I'm involved in writing groups and volunteer theater work. I'm the one people come to when they need someone to really listen to them. However, there are very few in this world I consider life-long friends.

I say if you're not feeling a strong urge to connect with that person or those people it's a good sign they have nothing to offer you. There are a lot of nice people out there; there are not a whole lot of people who actively contribute to your personal growth.

Sandman Moon said...

You know, I actually admire you for not calling them up. I tend to stress myself out by trying to make follow up plans with every single nice person I meet (and because I’m friendly, I meet too many). The result: I never have enough alone time. It’s seriously one of my biggest life problems. So I say don’t worry about it. Enjoy the alone time! Extend these people an invite later.